Photograph

The phone buzzed. Without even thinking, Nandhini answered the call, and almost immediately regretted it.

Etienne. 

She was not ready to speak to him but now it was too late.

"Finally!" Etienne sounded relieved. 

Nandhini asked him how he was doing. She realised that she missed him a lot more than she thought she had.

Etienne wanted to meet her. He apologised again and said he would explain everything to her when they met.

Reluctantly, Nandhini agreed to meet him, but only for a short while. After work, she took the train down to Paragon Mall. She was surprised to see Etienne there, waiting with a huge bouquet of pink roses. A smile slowly crept onto her face. 

Etienne passed her the flowers, then kissed her. That alone was enough to melt Nandhini. They walked towards their favourite quiet cafe around the corner of the building.

The waitress recognised them. " The usual order?" she asked with a smile. Both nodded. After ordering, Etienne looked at Nandhini. He looked a little nervous.

He took out a photograph. 

Nandhini recognised the girl in the picture. It was Swetha. She kept quiet and looked at Etienne with a blank expression.

"This is Swetha."
"She was the girl I dated for a few months when I was in India."

He paused, waiting for a reaction from Nandhini. Nothing.

He continued to tell her about Swetha and how they were and what kind of girl Swetha was. He certainly was mesmerised with Swetha, Nandhini thought, a little jealous.

Then, he began to tear. Nandhini, reacheed out to him and held his hand. She felt awful for putting him through this.

Etienne continued. "She died. My Swetha died.."

"Oh baby, you don't have to do this. It's alright I don't need to know. "
She got up and stood next to him, hugging him and planting a kiss on the top of his head.

The photograph lay on the table. She looked at the innocent face staring back at her. As much as she wanted to know what had happened to Swetha, she decided it was best to leave the past alone - at least for now.

Online Research

For the next two days, Nandhini avoided Etienne's calls. He called and left text messages, apologizing to her many times. He even sent her flowers to the office. Nandhini was not mad at him, she just needed her space to think.

She tried searching for information about him but nothing came up. She looked up the small town he had come from but - nothing.

Nandhini was constantly on the laptop researching something. There was no topic that was not of interest to her. She loved learning something new all the time.

This time her research was Etienne. She wondered what she could find out about him and of course Swetha.

If she was going to stay with this man, then she definitely had to find out more so that she wouldn't have any doubts.

She did manage to find his classmate and his email address. She took the risk and wrote to him.

Dear Brian,

I am currently dating Etienne from your hometown and since we are getting married soon, would you be kind enough to share with me any information you have about him. I would like to surprise him with a gift for our wedding and honestly I've only known him a short time. Any suggestions you may have is greatly appreciated.

You will definitely be invited to celebrate our special occasion!
Thank you 

Regards, 
Nandhini.

Now she had to wait and hope she got a reply. It could be a start. As for Swetha, she had no idea where to begin.

Nandhini

Nandhini may appear to be a conservative girl from a traditional Indian family. 

She definitely grew up with good values, as well as a good education. Her parents believed that gender did not matter in terms of  opportunities. 

She had always been a very chirpy girl. Tons of friends while growing up. Nandhini was not only good academically but she was a dancer. Dance was her passion. She never had time for boys because she was spending so much time on her dance.

Nandhini was always busy with her studies and when she had left school, she was constantly on the laptop researching something. There was no topic that was not of interest to her. She loved learning something new all the time.

This time her research was going to be on Etienne. She wondered what she could find out about him and of course Swetha.

If she was going to stay with this man, then she definitely had to find out more so that she wouldn't have any doubts.

Mysterious

The next morning, while preparing breakfast for Etienne, Nandhini had images of Swetha appearing before her.

She didn't think she could wait till Etienne said something about it, so she thought she would somehow bring it up. But how?

She could not possibly tell him that she had gone through his personal belongings. He may never allow her into his apartment.

But her head would explode if she didn't ask him.

"Etienne.." she hesitated.

"Yes, dear?"

"Tell me about the girls you have dated," she could almost swear that his face turned pale. 

She immediately regretted. Maybe she brought back some really awful memories.

"Why do you need to know that? I don't ask you about your past!" Etienne yelled at her.

Tears welled up in her eyes. No one had ever yelled at her before. She ran to the room to get her bag and turned to leave. Etienne was at the doorway of the room. Tears flowed down her cheeks like a river. She began to sob when she saw him there, not quite sure if she was hurt or it was anger she felt towards him for treating her in that manner.

"I'm sorry baby, " Etienne apologised. " Yes, I dated someone but things didn't work out. Her family did not agree to the marriage and so we could not be together. Her parents arranged for her to marry someone else.

Nandhini looked right at Etienne - puzzled.

Why was he lying? Why didn't her mention the incident

"What was her name Etienne? If you don't mind telling me."

"Her name was Swetha."

Nandhini just excused herself and told him she needed to get back home. Right outside his apartment, she was trembling. 

Her feminine instincts told her there was more to the story of Swetha...

Love is forgiving

Nandhini tossed and turned in bed. She could not fall asleep. She was confused. 

Maybe I'm not blinded but I just believe that we'll overcome anything if we are truly in love.

She could hear the soft snore coming from the other side of the bed.

She carefully climbed out of bed and put on her clothes. She then sneaked out of the room.

Her heart racing a little. What was she expecting to find?

The knob turned and the room was exposed!

The study. 

She walked In, not quite sure what to look for.

She walked over to the teak table and sat on the huge office chair. She turned on the lamp. The dim light was all she needed.

Without a second thought, she tried to pull open the drawer. She was quite shocked that it opened. 

There was a diary inside.

Should I?

She picked it up and a photo fell out.

A sweet smile from a girl not much younger than her. She was holding Etienne.

Nandhini's heart skipped a beat. So this was what jealousy felt like, she thought.

Who was this girl? Why didn't Etienne mention her? Did he even have to?

 
A million questions swarmed in her head all at once.

She dug through the drawer some more. A newspaper article was lying buried deep under some documents.

'Girl eaten by man eating beast!"

Below the headlines, was the same girl!

Nandhini covered her mouth - shocked! 

Obviously it must have affected Etienne, maybe that's why he didn't mention the girl. They seemed  close in the picture. Was she his girlfriend?

Upon reading, Nandhini found out her name was Swetha.

My poor Jaan!

He has suffered too many losses. That explains why he didn't want to lose me as well.

She just had to wait for the right moment to ask Etienne about Swetha. She returned to the room and slid back next to Etienne under the covers, placing one hand across his chest. She just wanted to hold him close.

Knowledge is power

The shadows danced around the walls in her room as Nandhini stared at the candle flame flickering. She loved to dim the lights and be left alone in her thoughts. She didn't want anyone to know she was still awake.

She was thinking about Etienne. She was so in love with him. 

Etienne was a sweet, kind man. But then, the other side she saw that evening left her a little perplexed. Could she live with someone insecure and jealous?

Anyway, what did she really know about him? 

Her brother's words rang in her ear. Be careful Nandhini, don't get hurt.

Her heart was with Etienne but her logical mind was telling her that she had to know the 'real' person before she gave her heart. 

She needed to get to know him better. They have not gone past that 'honeymoon' stage.

You think you know someone by spending time with them, talking to them but how do we know what goes on inside their head? 

First, she needed to go over to his place, maybe seeing him in his own surroundings would get her to understand him better. 

She called him. "Hey Love, I'll come over tomorrow, cook dinner maybe," she offered.

Silence.

" Yeah, alright. Sorry about this evening Nandhini, I don't know what came over me."

Maybe she was overreacting. It was probably a natural reaction to feel a little jealous.

Next day, Nandhini went over with some groceries and they had a nice time preparing dinner together. After which Etienne poured her a glass of wine. They stood in the balcony talking and enjoying the cool breeze.

Nandhini felt a little chilly and moved closer to Etienne. he looked at her and pulled her closer. She knew what was going to happen next. She felt his lips as his arms embraced her so naturally.

'Why do I fall for this time and again?' She asked herself.

Nandhini pulled back gently. She walked inside the apartment. They sat on the sofa. There were some photos on the table top. She walked over to get a closer look.

" Is this your family?" she asked. "Where are they now?"

"They are dead.!"

"I don't wish to speak about it. Yes, that's my family. We were not too close; Dad left us when I was only ten!"

Nandhini immediately regretted asking. She walked over to Etienne and brushed her fingers through his hair. He looked like a lost little boy. She leaned forward and kissed him on his forehead, " I'm sorry Jaan."

Etienne wrapped his hands around her waist and pulled her closer, burying his face in her flat warm stomach. He slowly lifted her blouse and kissed her belly. Nandhini could feel the tingly sensation all over her.

This time she didn't pull away. They kissed and he lifted her up and walked into his room and placed her on his bed, ever so gently. 

He pulled his shirt over his head and threw it aside. Nandhini's eyes followed his every move.  He was soon lying on her. Nandhini couldn't take the pleasurable pain she felt when he bit her. She liked it. She loved the feeling of his teeth nibbling at her here and there. And she finally exploded with sheer desire.

Although Etienne's intention was to take a bite of her soft flesh and devour her; make her his. 

Something stopped him from going further. When Nandhini moaned aloud, all he could think of was her pleasure. Strangely, he could not bring himself to hurt this affectionate young woman. She meant too much to him. 

Nandhini wasn't like the rest. She wouldn't leave him, would she? Or was she going to hurt him as well? 

Etienne wasn't going to hurt her, Nandhini chided herself for overthinking. He was a hurt soul without family. She should just love him and take away his pain.

They both stared into each other's eyes, each lost in their own thoughts...
 

Jealousy

When Nandhini woke up, it was already 5 am. She got dressed and left for home. she had to get home before anyone woke up. She took a minute to admire his chiseled face looking so calm and didn't have the heart to wake him. She scribbled a note and left. They would be meeting for dinner anyway.

"OMG! Nandhini!! It is really you!"

She turned around to see a familiar face smiling at her. 

His boyish looks hadn't changed since they were in school!

Sean was an athlete in High School. Her classmate. He was not just good in sports but also the top student every year. He didn't miss a year receiving an award for outstanding student. They kept in touch for a few years after they left school and then Sean left for overseas to continue his university education. They kept in touch a little on Facebook but that was it.

Now here he was!

She didn't know he was returning home. Nandhini had a secret crush on him before, which girl didn't?

In a way she still blushed when he looked at her too long. What she didn't know was that Sean too had always admired her, but never said anything for fear of rejection. In his eyes she was still the perfect girl.

They spoke for awhile before deciding that they should just sit and have coffee and catch up.

Etienne was supposed to meet her at 7pm. She still had time. 

They talked about old times and before you know it, it was time for her dinner date. She had told Etienne to meet her at the entrance of the mall. Sean waited with her till he arrived.

That wasn't the best idea.

Etienne didn't seem too happy to see her with another guy. His expression was quite clear about that. Sean said hi and excused himself.

The dinner was quite solemn. Nandhini tried asking him what had upset him but Etienne didn't utter a word.

"Sweetheart, I don't like the idea of you hanging around with another guy, especially without me around," he said without a smile.

Nandhini was taken aback but before she could reply he stood up and walked away.

'I should make sure she never leaves me,' Etienne kept repeating in his head as he got into a cab to go home.